A whole ‘nother species

Even though I was hired on as a predominantly equine vet, and have concentrated my efforts, time, professional endeavors and life to equine medicine, I accrued a decent amount of experience with small ruminants both before and throughout vet school. I’d like to place the emphasis on the descriptor ‘small’ ruminants. I’ll ride along with my boss on any call, no matter the species. There is one species (well, excluding camelids and pigs) that I absolutely don’t feel confident in. Cows.

On my treasured Saturday off after a rough week of colics and lacerations, I knew something was up when my boss rang. She sounded optimistic, “Whatcha doin’?” I was honest, and she knew my sleeping habits by then. On any Saturday I have off, at 9 am you can bet I’m sleeping. She informed me she had three emergencies that had simultaneously called and were all in different directions. She was nearly to one, and the next one was a horse with a laceration of unknown proportion. She didn’t have to ask because I knew why she was calling. “What ER would you like me to take?”1500039069095-542038303

Three words over the phone and I was wide awake.

Sick.

Down.

Calf.

The other calf they recently acquired had died in the night, and my boss suspected this farm call was more in the direction of euthanasia than heroics. I headed out with the address plugged into the GPS and an ETA of 30 minutes. Highways to streets to gravel road and the numbering on possible driveways became scarce. Luckily, I had discovered the Google Maps’ satellite view and this helped tremendously with locating barns and houses. But, satellite imaging via Google Maps was nothing without mobile data. This ran out with about 4 miles to go and I ended up taking a long gravel road that zigzagged past caved in barns, abandoned double-wides and the occasional deserted house. The road ended at a picnic shelter camped out in front of a lake…I hadn’t passed anything matching the physical address of the house I was looking for.

Out across the open pasture, I spotted an old, tiny run-down cabin. (I might have overlooked it as a storage shed, but after a couple months of farm calls in this area, I never underestimate what structures serve as someone’s home). I heard the lawn mower first, then spotted the red riding lawn mower as it rounded the shack. It’s rider was a shirtless man in his 60s or 70s, with tattered suspender straps over his shoulders and a wide brimmed straw hat. He sported a cigarette from one corner of his mouth, and a long piece of straw out the other. His jack Russell sounded the alarm. I waved as he slowly made his way over to the truck. Over the barking dog, I asked if he happened to have a sick calf. He left the lawn mower idling as I got out of the truck. He gave me a once over look and shook his head. He looked disinterested and slightly annoyed and motioned over his shoulders “My neighbors have a calf.” Then he gave directions that sounded as helpful as google map’s “no network” message.

I started to get into he truck when he hollered. “Are you the animal doc?” And I answered yes.

After I answered yes, he gave a mischievous grin and winked. “If you’re the doc, I’m an animal. You want to work on me?”

I shook my head and put some effort into a laugh, one of those ha-ha very funny laughs. Then I got in the truck and performed a 7 or 8 point turn as the self-proclaimed animal on the riding lawnmower made cat calls.

The truck’s diesel engine is loud, but wasn’t loud enough to drown out the series of howls he let out from under his wide-brim hat.

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